social media & mental health
Is it possible for them to work well together?
During my Facebook using life, I have had 3 accounts. That's because I have permanently deleted 2 of them. The first time I deleted facebook, I had just given birth to Jacob and was going through a really tough time. Mentally as well as physically (due to my need for an emergency c-section). I kept it deleted for a couple of months. When I was feeling better, I got it back. Mainly because I was finding it difficult as a young single mother to keep in contact with people as well as having any kind of a social life without being able to see what people were doing. It was good in one respect. I managed to get back in touch with people from uni, and one friend I had in primary school who had just had a little girl 9 months before Jacob was born. This has led to a really lovely friendship so I am of course thankful for that. It also meant I could get Tinder, which despite all the bad dates etc I did finally meet Jack on, so it did have one good thing about it!! (don't tell him I said that though.) Although once I got facebook back again I was taking fluoxetine, I had stopped taking fluoxetine throughout my pregnancy and restarted it 3 weeks after Jacob was born so I was feeling down when I deleted that 1st account. I don't know that it actually made me feel any better getting it back again though. I would find myself checking it often. And getting Tinder meant I was constantly taking photos on Snapchat (everyone looks better on snapchat), and then uploading them to instagram (everyone looks better with a filter). This was a bit of a vicious cycle to be honest.
Fast forward two years and I've met Jack and had my 2nd baby (Matilda AKA Tillie). Having had facebook all this time, I've got photos of Jacob growing up, pregnancy photos and newborn photos of Tillie. When I deleted my first Facebook I lost all of my pregnancy photos with Jacob, as well as any photo I'd uploaded from the age of 17-24. So when I decided to delete my facebook for the 2nd time, I don't think I really thought it through. In May 2016 I deleted it permanently again. All my photos now gone also due to a change in phone. This time, there were many positives to me deleting it. I also deleted instagram and snapchat so I was completely social media free. For a short time me and my brother didn't speak and not having social media during that time was a blessing. This social media hiatus lasted a long time. A year and 3 months to be exact. I was in a good place mentally so I'm not really sure what prompted me to delete it in the first place. The only issue was, I ended up becoming slightly obsessed with the news app on my phone instead. This in turn made me feel slightly down as although I am an advocate for knowing whats going on in the world, it can be just as damaging constantly reading news stories about all the negative things in the world as it can be looking at facebook and reading all your friends negative statuses. So, in August 2017 I downloaded it again and set up my 3rd account.
I've never really been a key board warrior. Arguments on facebook have never really been my thing, but since October 2017, I'd been having them often. A few arguments here and there about areas of Christianity I'm not too sure about, and then quite big, hurtful discussions with people regarding my choice to be a vegan. This was when I decided to get rid of facebook again. These conversations were destroying me. I was feeling stressed and irritated, and frustrated because things can be taken the wrong way when you can't see the other person face to face. Jack even started to notice. This time though, I didn't want to permanently delete my whole account. So all I've done is delete the app. Funnily enough that has been enough to satisfy the obsessive checking behaviour. I'm just not bothered about looking at it. I know it's still there and I can access it anytime but I just don't want to.
There have been many articles about social media and mental health and it's damaging effects. A lot of this is to do with negative moods being, in a way, 'passed on' through statuses etc. (http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180104-is-social-media-bad-for-you-the-evidence-and-the-unknowns). But it also has a lot to do with envy, particularly regarding seeing what friends/partners are up to as well as what other people may look like or have. When me and Jack had been together a few months, I remember finding out his ex's name and looking her up on facebook. Then making Jack delete her! I know now how silly that was, but at the time it was a real issue I had and it genuinely made me feel very insecure and anxious. It was my birthday yesterday and so I quickly checked if anyone had wished me a good one via facebook. But once I'd checked, that was it, straight off again.
And I feel so much better for it.
Photo by William Iven on Unsplash
I've never really been a key board warrior. Arguments on facebook have never really been my thing, but since October 2017, I'd been having them often. A few arguments here and there about areas of Christianity I'm not too sure about, and then quite big, hurtful discussions with people regarding my choice to be a vegan. This was when I decided to get rid of facebook again. These conversations were destroying me. I was feeling stressed and irritated, and frustrated because things can be taken the wrong way when you can't see the other person face to face. Jack even started to notice. This time though, I didn't want to permanently delete my whole account. So all I've done is delete the app. Funnily enough that has been enough to satisfy the obsessive checking behaviour. I'm just not bothered about looking at it. I know it's still there and I can access it anytime but I just don't want to.
There have been many articles about social media and mental health and it's damaging effects. A lot of this is to do with negative moods being, in a way, 'passed on' through statuses etc. (http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180104-is-social-media-bad-for-you-the-evidence-and-the-unknowns). But it also has a lot to do with envy, particularly regarding seeing what friends/partners are up to as well as what other people may look like or have. When me and Jack had been together a few months, I remember finding out his ex's name and looking her up on facebook. Then making Jack delete her! I know now how silly that was, but at the time it was a real issue I had and it genuinely made me feel very insecure and anxious. It was my birthday yesterday and so I quickly checked if anyone had wished me a good one via facebook. But once I'd checked, that was it, straight off again.
And I feel so much better for it.
Photo by William Iven on Unsplash
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